What to Putin your suitcase: A guide for Russia

So, you’re going to Russia, are you? Then you’ll need:

• Warm clothing. Seriously. If you’re unfortunate enough to be going in the second term and are therefore arriving in the scorching heights of early February, you’ll want to be wearing your winter coat as you step off the plane. And that means you need to buy the coat before you set off. Go to shops that sell the great outdoors. They’ll have specialist clothing with thermal layers, extra padding, built-in radiators, and whale blubber (or something like that), and pay good money for it. It sounds stupid, but you could genuinely freeze to death out there if you don’t have the right gear; the human body isn’t designed for -40 degrees (nor -50, for that matter). Coat, thermal undergarments, scarves, hats, gloves, the kitchen sink…

 

• On a similar note, boots. My friend – whom I shan’t mention, lest he be mocked eternally – arrived in the snow-drenched Tomsk flat-soled shoes, and so, when he tried to walk over the ice and compacted snow, he fell over every five steps. Aside from being hilarious, it was dangerous, so don’t be that guy; get some nice boots in advance.

 

• Your passport. You will get well acquainted with your passport in Russia; you will learn its number off by heart. This is because the Russians are obsessed with them – Russia is genuinely the only country in the world that issues two separate passports to its citizens – and you will need it to do everything, from buying a sim card to registering for courses at university. Don’t do what my other friend – no, surprisingly, not the first friend with the bruises – did and forget to check whether his passport would be in date for his stay until just before he was due to arrive. He arrived a month late. Which reminds me…

 

• A visa. Get this sorted early. Russian bureaucracy has many jokers up its sleeves, and one mistake on your visa application form will get you turned away, as happened to me. Assuming you have a (prospective) student visa, you’ll also need to take an HIV test (always a fun conversation with the doctor).

 

• A pocket Russian dictionary. Sometimes, you are one item of vocabulary away from what you need someone to do; having the Russian word for ‘laundry fob’ in your pocket may save you just when you need it. That said, this is technically optional, because people these days seem to class dictionaries as another one of those things that mobile phones can do away with. Not if you haven’t got a Russian sim card, they can’t…

 

• It’s a good idea to get a Russian sim card as soon as you get there. In Putin’s Utopia, it is possible to buy sim cards that bestow unlimited internet unto you… and for a reasonable price!

 

• Money. Feel free to buy roubles before you go, but the best way to do it is to have an international currency card that allows you to make payments and withdrawals in roubles at no cost. (Sadly, you have to pre-load the money, so you are spending your own money, but there are no additional charges or dodgy conversion rates.)

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• Warm clothing. Seriously. Russia is famously cold, except when it’s suddenly not; it can be positively tropical in summer! So, clothing for when it’s warm – t-shirts and the like – is essential. Now go back to the top until you’ve memorised them. ​

Written by
​William Huntley